Monday, December 5, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Character...

Aaron and his Smile

Today I watched two young men come in the store and they were smiling and chatted with me, and it struck cords in my heart. I really can't wait for my oldest son Aaron to become a man. Not that I want to rush time but I want him to be confident and assured of who he is. Be content in his own skin. Right now 13 is awkward. Hormones raging, oh and the issues with acne. Actually the horrors of acne. I realized that there will be a period of time with no pictures of him, at least from the front. I lay awake at night worrying, wondering, crying. Wishing with all my might I might be able to help him, more than I already have. Wishing I could protect him from the stares and the comments. I know people are curious but they still are not nice. "It will build character", people say, "You try it for a day and see how much character you have", I say. I hope that I didn't screw this one up. Hope that he has the tools he needs to be a strong man. He has many roads to travel and it hasn't always been easy nor will it be but with each passing day, "It builds character."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My Tattoo in honor of Ayden and My Dad...

The Blank Canvas

The stencils

And it begins

The outline

My "SON" flower

The finished picture

The tattoo in honor of Ayden and my Dad.

My lost loves are forever walking with me.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Didn't have the time...

I would have read you a bedtime story
I would have sung you a lullaby
I would have told you that I loved you
I would have kissed you goodbye
But I didn't have time
You were gone way too soon
One Sunday in July

I would have cried a thousand rivers
I would have drowned in the rain
I would have fallen to my knees
I would have buckled under the pain
But I didn't have time
Your brothers were twelve and three
So I had to get on with my life

I would have died of a broken heart that night
But I didn't have time...

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Denial...

June is all about AJ and the excitement of school ending for Aaron and the promise of a great summer. The planning and outings. The hope of longer warm days and breezy evenings. With summer comes July. It hit me in the heart today. I realized it this morning, as I turned to leave the kitchen. I looked up and right in the middle of the wall was the July month on the calendar. Andre` must have turned the month because I hadn't. It was the calendar that I made for my family at Christmas and July is Aydens month. I think subconsciously I wasn't turning the page.Yep its July 17th and I hadn't turned the page. But there he was, his beautiful little sleeping face...This day last year we were having a baby shower. It is still hard to wrap my head around even though my heart is so wrapped around it and broken by it. It is still hard...

Aydens name.....

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2011/04/ayden-jason-mcneil-thompson.html

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Untitled

This is where the road separates
Those who have been there
And those who have not
Those who know
Drown in fresh air
In company
In shopping malls and parking lots
In circles of sympathizers
In the morning
At any given moment
In the middle of the night
Despite the love
Of those around me
I drown In the silence
Rain cloud hanging heavy
Above the traffic of my thoughts
Around my still pounding heart
I drown
In the silence
Permeating my womb ..